Cat Facts 5

You just may be a #catnut if: You watch lousy T.V. because your cat is sleeping on the remote.
Most Cats have a total of 24 whiskers, 4 rows of whiskers on each side.
Cats always: Calm us with their purring.
Cats don't need round-the-clock attention. They are the low-maintenance members of the family.
Sleeping is my third favorite thing. -- The Cat
Cat asleep on my shoulders - the ONLY way to wear fur.
Cats must groom their private parts while their hoomans are trying to eat.
Stray Cats will sleep outside unless it's raining.
Cat Philosophy - Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
Seven weeks is when the kittens are usually weaned and eating solids, suckling will end.
Everything I need to know, I learned from my cat.
Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark.
Stray Cats sleeping under the covers at the foot of the bed will not be allowed to chew on our feet.
Cats must shred the packaging on all prepackaged food so that they can do a taste test.
You just may be a #catnut if: You have to hire an architect to design and build the cat furniture.
Cats must act as if being tortured when being flea-powdered.
What do you call kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner? Chain litter.
Cat: Furry alarm clock.
Cats must try to pick fights with cats looking in the house through a door or window.
Cats need to check Daddy's aim in the bathroom.
Cat Philosophy - Long naps never go out of fashion.
Cats must lick the cheese from the grater when the hooman's back is turned.
Upon withdrawal of the cats penis, the spines rake the walls of the female's vagina, which may cause ovulation.
Cat Philosophy - Keep everybody's secrets.
The Sphynx cat is extremely affectionate, loving, sweet and sensitive, usually purring profusely.
Copycat - A person who copies others
In households in the UK and USA, there are more cats kept as pets than dogs. At least 35% of households with cats have 2 or more cats.
Why are Cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
The four cat food groups: Dry, Canned, Natural, Yours.
Cat Self-Disipline: Yawn and stretch at regular intervals ......
You just may be a #catnut if: You ask the Pizza delivery place if they can add an order of 9lives on the side.
Cats always: Lighten our hearts.
I am NOT a cat. I am - A four footed allergen.
Conceited as a barber's cat - very conceited
The leaves of the Easter Lily can cause permanent and life-threatening kidney damage to cats, and Philodendron are also poisonous to cats.
It's ok if a cat rubs up against your best friend.
The Sphynx cat do not need combs or brushes.
The Sphynx cat looks like an alien from a movie and his eyes sparkle with the same unbelievable light.
Some people own cats and actually go on to lead normal lives .....
A closed door is an attack on a cats personal freedom.
When it comes to cat potty problems, more often than not, the cat is not to blame.
The average age for an indoor cat is 15 years, while the average age for an outdoor cat is only 3 to 5 years.
Many hoomans find the rewards of cat companionship outweigh the discomfort and problems associated with allergens.
The gestation period for cats is between 64–67 days, with an average length of 66 days.
Cats need to have their teeth cleaned by their homans or a vet.
Cats must cuddle mom's dress shoes and drool in them.
Most Cats adore sardines.
At 7 weeks the kittens are now more confident and coordinated. This is a time the mother will teach the kittens a great deal.
The male, or Tomcat in Scotland is called a Gib cat; the female is a Doe cat.
Cat Phrase: miaowmiaow - Means: Play with me.
The Sphynx cat is hard to describe in mere words .... They are just EXTRAordinary.
Cats must knock Mom's Cheerios off of her spoon as she brings it to her mouth.
The Sphynx cat loves rubbing his head against your stubbly 5 o'clock shadow.
You just may be a #catnut if: You spend more money on toys for your cats than on the kids or grandkids.
Cat Philosophy - When in doubt, cop an attitude.
The hooman's food is meant to be shared with the cat.
People who own pets live longer, have less stress, and have fewer heart attacks.
There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. - Dan Greenberg
Cats must chase the hoomans while they are carrying a full laundry basket.
Politically Correct: The cat is not a pest; she is attention deprived.
Cats always: Instruct us in the luxurious art of stretching.
Did someone say fish? I haven't been fed all day.
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch
Cats always: Turn common household objects like bottle caps into toys.
Dogs will come when you call them. And they'll be happy. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.
Cats always: Let us indulge our desires to really spoil someone.
Cat Self-Disipline: Ignore the ignorant ......
Cats step with both left legs, then both right legs when they walk or run.
A home without a cat is only a house.
I am NOT a cat. I am - A nice animal, frequently mistaken for a meatloaf.
A cat is nobody's fool.
The Sphynx cat always wants to make sure that you are still with him/her ....
Pair bonds can develop between two cats who live together, or between a cat and a person.
Cats need to climb into EVERY box in the household.
A cat in gloves catches no mice - Sometimes you can't accomplish a goal by being careful and polite.
The cat's tail is used to maintain balance.
A cat will amost never meow at another cat.  This sound is reserved for hoomans.
The cat may look at a king - An insolent remark of insubordination, meaning, I am as good as you.
The heaviest cat on record weighed 46 lbs.
What do cats read in the morning? Mewspapers.
What's a cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse.
You just may be a #catnut if: Your colleagues no longer ask how your weekend was. Instead they ask how your cats are doing.
If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat? None. They were copy cats.
Cat Philosophy - Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps.
I'm claiming all of this as mine. -- The Cat
You just may be a #catnut if: You save $825.30 by buying cat litter on sale.
Cats always: Want to mate when the hoomans have guests over.
The average lifespan of an outdoor-only cat is about 3 to 5 years while an indoor-only cat can live
I am NOT a cat. I am - A hair relocation expert.
You just may be a #catnut if: You chose your house based on it having a good location for the catbox.
Although cats are adaptable, feral cats are unable to thrive in extreme cold and heat.
Cats always: Make even an old worn couch look beautiful.
Cat Note2self: My hooman is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.
How does a cat count? One, mew, three.
Cats must lick all the glue off of all of the envelopes.
The Sphynx cat body is highly susceptible to sunburn.
The Sphynx cat prefers hooman attention but enjoy the company of dogs and other cats.
You just may be a #catnut if: You buy more than 200 pounds of cat litter per month.
Cat Note2self: I am a neutered cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail fluffed up will not make my parts grow back.
Cats must toss their poop out of the litter box and play hockey with it.
Cat Note2self: I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer.
Many finicky felines demand bottled water, just like their hooman counterparts.
Cats are always more sarcastic than dogs.
Why did the cat join the Red Cross? Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit.
Apply a product called Sticky Paws (similar to double-sided tape) to the surface a cat is prone to scratch.
If a cats tail is arched and bristled: The cat may attack if further provoked.
Cats don't mind if you do all the driving.
What happened when the cat went to the flea circus? He stole the whole show.
Regardless of the average sociability of any given cat or of cats in general, some cats are poorly socialized.
The Sphynx cat have sturdy boning and good muscle development and should have a bit of a belly as if they just finished dinner.
What drinks milk, meows, and has eight legs? An octo-puss.
A cats purr is the sound of it generating cute
The female cat will give a loud yowl as the male pulls out of her as the males penis has backward pointing spines.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary? A peeping tom.
Cats must sleep INSIDE the back cushion of the sofa.
Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
According to myth, a cat sleeping with all four paws tucked under means cold weather is coming.
Cats must whine (with their mouth full) if they get dry food instead of canned.
The Sphynx cat lack of hair that would normally absorb body oils makes the Sphynx need at least weekly bathing and ear cleaning.
If a cats tail is erect, but the tip is tilted over, either forward or back: The cat is very interested and feeling friendly.
Cats always: Give us someone to talk to.
You just may be a #catnut if: You have take out a loan to be able to afford 9lives.
If your cat has his/her own language you have never heard before, and constantly poses for photos – then your cat is a Sphynx.
You just may be a #catnut if: You have to build an extra closet to store the kittie clothes.
Cats must jump into mom's lap while she is breast-feeding the small hooman.
People who hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.
Cats are around to remind us why we need opposable thumbs.
Stray Cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
Make the fur fly - Start a fight
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a cat? A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.
Cats must meow to be let out when there is a foot-plus of snow on the ground.
I don't do mornings. - Garfield the cat
The Sphynx cat turns into a heat-seeking missile to find a toasty place, usually under the covers when its time for a nap.
Cat Philosophy - Life is hard, and then you nap.
Cats always: Make us more aware of birds.
A cat will tremble or shiver when it is in extreme pain.
The color of the points in Siamese cats is heat related. Cool areas are darker.
Toilet paper exists so that cats can shred it into little bits.
Cats must pee on Mama's boyfriend's wallet when they have an argument.
Cat Note2self: I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
Cats love to hide. If yours comes up missing, be sure to check everywhere you can possibly think of.
Her function is to sit and be admired. - Georgina Strickland Gates
Cats always: Inspire poets and playwrights.
If a cats tail is swishing vigorously from side to side: The cat is angry.
A happy cat means a happy household.
Purring....the sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
You just may be a #catnut if: You own 17 varieties of kitty-nail-clippers.
Cats must use their litter box in full view of all mom's dinner guests.
Just as no two hoomans have the same fingerprints, it's a fact that no two feline nose prints are alike.
Cats sleep all day so you can have peace and quiet. Ahh... relaxation when you're home from work sounds like heaven.
A steady diet of dog food may cause blindness in your cat - it lacks taurine.
Cats must play trapeze artist on the curtain rods.
Cats are purrrrfect.
Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since you got them.
The Sphynx cat has an abundance of energy and wants to be always either near you, on top of you or showing off for you.
Cats leave your property alone; dogs will eat your slippers, gloves, hats and nearly anything else they decide to go after.
The more people I meet, the more I love my cats....
Cats must chew holes in the bags of clean kitty litter and spread it on the floor.
Cats must attack incoming faxes and chew them so that the hoomans can't read them.
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
Cats will also engage in play fighting, with each other and with hoomans.
Cats must bite their hooman's feet when she is using the computer.
Cat Note2self: Don't play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry.
Six-toed kittens are so common in Boston and surrounding areas of Massachusetts that experts consider it an established mutation.
Stray Cats that are already pregnant will not be allowed in closets, drawers, cupboards or spare rooms.
The Sphynx cat make great show cats because of their look at me CATtitude and they are easy for judges to handle.
If evolution is true then cats should not even need can openers.
Cats lose almost as much fluid in the saliva while grooming themselves as they do through urination.
Cat: I could've SWORN I heard the can opener.
Stray Cats will not play on the desk.
Cats must charge themselves with static electricity and zap their sleeping Dad at 2 am
Cats are quite capable of being on their own for the day. You don't need to hire a babysitter to watch them when you're out.
Look what the cat dragged in - A slightly derogatory comment on someone's arrival
Cats must open all the presents before Christmas.
You just may be a #catnut if: You ask Netflix if they can include cat food with your order.
Cats don't whine. Thankfully. Whining is just so annoying.
If a cat begins to fall, his inner ear canal (which controls balance) will help him right himself and land on his feet.
Fat cat - A wealthy and privileged person
Why are Cats such good singers? Because they're very mewsical.
Cat Note2self: The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl.
Cats must commence biting their hooman's toes when she exits the shower.
An estimated 50% of today's cat owners never take their cats to a veterinarian for health care.
You own a dog, but .... you can only feed a cat.
Cats must fall asleep on Mom's back or chest.
Cats have been domesticated for half as long as dogs have been.
Tail raising also indicates the cats position in the group's social hierarchy, with dominant individuals raising their tails less often.
The Sphynx cat was accepted for competition in the Championship Class by The Cat Fanciers Association (CFA) in February of 2002.
The male cat is known as a Tom Cat and the female cat is known as a Bitch or Queen.
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
Cat Self-Disipline: Control yourself ......
Some indoor cats, may not understand the concept of a scratching post, and as a result will ignore it.
If your cat from time to time talks to you and touches you with his/her paw or nose - then your cat is a Sphynx.
Hep cat - Someone who keeps up with the latest trends.
You don't have to wonder if the cat is lying to you.
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
Cats rarely get sick. You won't have so many absences from work each year.
Cats leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same
Cats must rush out from behind the couch and bury their claws in Daddy's leg.
Cats always: Show us how to lick our wounds and go on.
Cats have AB blood groups just like people.
Biting and scratching by older cats with aggression towards new kittens is known as Feline Asocial Aggression.
You just may be a #catnut if: You get angry when visitors dont greet your cat hello ...
You just may be a #catnut if: You ask the Pizza delivery place if they can stop and pick up some of the cats from the vet on the way.
Although scratching can serve cats to keep their claws from growing excessively long, their nails can be trimmed with a small nail trimmer.
Cats always: Know whether people like or dislike them. They do not always care enough to do anything about it. - Winifred Carriere
Stray Cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence and will not be petted, played with, or picked up and cuddled.
Cat: Living poetry.
What is the best award a cat can earn? The Purr-litzer prize.
Men don't like cats because cats are cooler than they are.
The Sphynx cat average males weigh between 8 and 10 pounds.
Cats are ready to go to new homes at about 12 weeks old, or when they are ready to leave their mother.
Between 4-5 weeks kittens hearing is now good and will continue to improve as they grow.
Cat-and-dog - Resembling or having the character of hteproverbial antagonism between cats and dogs.
Cats purr at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine, about 26 cycles per second.
Cats must refuse to eat their food until it has been piled into a pyramid shape.
A cat, the only self-cleaning appliance in the house.
cA cat has absolute honesty. - Ernest Hemmingway
The Sphynx cat is referred to as a feline alien due to its pixie face, giant batty ears, potbelly and wrinkled skin.
Most cats have no eyelashes.
In multi-cat households, cats of the opposite sex usually get along better.
Cats must toggle mom's word processor from insert to overtype mode.
Stray Cats will sleep outside.
Cats spend 30% of their waking hours grooming themselves.
He disappeared, like the cat in that Russian story.- Chekov
Remember, if you see any typos .... the dog did it.
A single pair of Cats and their kittens can produce as many as 420,000 kittens in just 7 years.
Cat Philosophy - Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
What do you call a superior being with an attitude? ..... A cat.
The Sphynx cat craves attention, and if there’s none forthcoming, watch out.
Cats don't care if those jeans make you look fat.
Cats Are PEOPLE Too
Actually, cats are quite good at domesticating hoomans.
Cat families usually play best in even numbers. Cats and kittens should be acquired in pairs whenever possible.
Cats must open the breakfast muffins box and only eat one bite out of each.
Cats have a full inner-eyelid, or nictitating membrane. This inner-eyelid serves to help protect the eyes from dryness and damage.
As busy as a one-eyed cat watching two mouse holes.
Female cats are polyestrous, which means they may have many heat periods over the course of a year.
Cats must sit on top of the kitchen cabinets playing 'vulture'.
The life expectancy of cats has nearly doubled over the last fifty years.
Cats must knock the kitchen trash can over EVERY NIGHT scavenging for scraps.
At nine weeks the kittens play will become more aggressive towards each other and squabbles between kittens can erupt.
When cats encounter catnip, they may roll over it, paw at it, chew it, lick it, leap about and purr, or heavily salivate.
It has been proven that male cats shed much greater amounts of allergen than females.
A female cats heat periods last about 4 to 7 days every two weeks usually from January/Feburary through October.
Some hoomans cope with the problem by taking prescription allergy medicine, along with bathing their cats frequently.
The cats let us live here.
People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick
Ancient Egyptian family members shaved their eyebrows in mourning when the family cat died.
Unlike central retinal degeneration (CRD) in cats, feline dilated cardiomyopathy is reversible with supplementation.
Some cats have been documented to have a longevity of 34 years.
Cats must try to taste the gerbils when Mom is holding one.
A cat can jump 5 times as high as it is tall.
Cats are just little bundles of purr.
Always use the litter box while hooman is cleaning it.
Catnap - Sleeping for a short period of time
The lack of a functioning collarbone allows the cat to fit through any opening the size of their head.
Taglines are like cats. You just think they're yours.
That would be about as easy as teaching cats to march.
Cats greet you when coming home with a cheerful meow and a quick brush against the legs; dogs pounce on you and knock you over.
Cats must topple the spice rack going for the catnip.
Cats need to be petted *every* time the cat eats.
What kind of mood is kitty in?  Her eyes, whiskers and ears will tell you.  Learn to read the signs she gives you.
A cat may look at a King.
A cats ear pivots 180 degrees. They have 30 muscles in each ear, and use twelve or more muscles to control their ear movement.
Politically Correct: The cat is not a dope addict; she is catnip appreciative.
The oldest cat on record was Puss, from England, who died in 1939 just one day after her 36th birthday.
Cat Philosophy - Own nothing and be owned by no one.
Cats must put their paw into the boiling water to snag a cooking shrimp.
When Mother Nature saw fit to remove the tail of the Manx, she left, in place of the tail, more cat. - Mary E. Stewart
Dogs come when called .... Cats have answering machines
Cats are more aggressive when they are not neutered or spayed.
Cat Phrase: Mrrrrrrrrrrroooooooww - Hold me, I am tired
How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. - Robert A. Heinlein
Kittens are weaned at between six and seven weeks, and cats normally reach sexual maturity at 5–10 months (females)
Cat Self-Disipline: Jog in your sleep ......
A cats hearing is much more sensitive than hoomans and dogs.
Cats can catch snowflakes through a closed window if they try hard enough.
Cats know Mom's black suede gloves are giant tarantulas that need to be killed.
You just may be a #catnut if: you smile when the cat licks the butter
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot.
Cat Game #1: Hah - made you look.
Cat Game #2: Take up the most room on bed.
Cat Game #3: Fit into the smallest space available.
Cat Game #4: Hide and go puke.
Cats must drink the bathwater while their hooman is taking a bath.
Cats must drag Mom's knitting around the house, unravelling it in the process.
Cats are good lapwarmers for modemers.
The cat's clavicle, or collarbone, does not connect with other bones but is buried in the muscles of the shoulder region.
A cats purr is sound of it generating mystery and enigma
Backward-pointing spikes on a cats tongue aid in their grooming.
Cats adopt hoomans into their social group, and share a kill with others in the group according to the local pecking order, hoomans at top.
Cat Self-Disipline: Whatever happens, look as if it were intended .....
Cats must groom Daddy at 2 am.
Cats aren't threatened by a woman with short hair, or a man with long hair.
Give your cat fresh water at least once a day
You just may be a #catnut if: Your arm goes to sleep because you don't want to disturb the cat.
Cats don't need to wear the latest designer fashions.
As alert as a mouse at a cat show.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary? Shredded tweet.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
If your cat looks like an alien from a movie and his eyes are sparkling with the same unbelievable light – then your cat is a Sphynx.
If you can't feel your cats ribs, she's too heavy.
CAT (n): A walking ego with fur.
The cat that ate the ball of yarn....had mittens.
Dogs believe they are hooman. Cats believe they are God
A cat has more bones than a hooman; hoomans have 206, but the cat has 230.
The Sphynx cat generally have wedge-shaped heads and sturdy, heavy bodies. Many cats of this breed develop pot bellies.
Cats must drag the apple peels out of the garbage to play with them.
Cats sit on your lap when you're sad or feeling sick.  Dogs still expect to be taken out and fed regularly even if you're on your deathbed.
Cats seldom interfere with other people's rights.
Cats must raid the ashtray for used pipe cleaners.
There ain't room to cuss a cat here w/out gettin' fur in your mouth.
purrrrpetmeorIscratchyoureyesoutpurrrr - common feline term
You just may be a #catnut if: You snap your fingers and pat the sofa beside you to invite your guests to sit down.
Cat Self-Disipline: Knead people ......
Cats don't brag about whom they have slept with.
Never ever give Tylenol to a cat.
Many cat bites will become infected, sometimes with serious consequences such as cat-scratch fever (disease), or, more rarely, rabies.
Nothing the cats do surprises me anymore.
It's raining cats and dogs - It's raining very hard
When your Cat rubs up against you, she is actually marking you as hers with her scent.
You just may be a #catnut if: You accidentally put your child's dinner plate on the floor.
Catskill Mountains: The land of dead mice.
What do you call a cat that sucks on lemons? A sour puss.
Cats rid the house of pesky insects and mice. Now if only they could get rid of pesky children.
When a cat has more than 18 toes, it's called a polydactyl.
The height required to right themselves in most cats (safely) is around 90 cm (3 feet).
Cat Note2self: No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my hooman's earrings are not cat toys.
CATFOOD??..?? You woke me up for a lousy can of CATFOOD??.
At 5-7 weeks the mother starts to change her behavior towards kittens, such as stop licking the kittens rear-end to stimulate elimination.
The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.
What do cats use to make coffee? A purrcolator.

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